Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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