Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize