He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
