She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
