she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize