Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.