This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
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I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it