It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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