All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.