Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
