When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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