we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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