My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
