it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
