please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
