but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
