So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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