im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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