its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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