I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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