I heard we made out
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
