we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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