How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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