My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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