I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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