the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
