I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
