I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
