somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
