Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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