peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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