Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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