super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
