well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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