i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
