Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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