I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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