I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
