i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
