im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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