we have officially lost it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
