the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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