When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
