I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
