I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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