we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
