i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
