I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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