dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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