Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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