I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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