who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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