the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
