my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I supernannyed him into submission
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
