I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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