No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i will never coherently bang her
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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