she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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